Category Archives: Amusing

A Valentine Lament

Oh, silly, solemn, lovesick Muse
Wherefore do you wander
Without giving me cues?
You must come forthwith, help me ponder and conjure
Not fish stew or cabbage or salamander
But tremors of passion and amorous rhymes.
Inspire my thoughts for St. Valentine’s.
Wooing, cooing, and otherwise doing
Cupid’s work with his confounded arrow
That pierces the heart deep into the marrow.
A wound that won't heal
No more than boys’ lust for an automobile.
Love conquers all,
Virgil famously said.
Caesar won Gaul,
Anne Boleyn lost her head.
For lack of a son
“Now you’re done!”
Henry said.
Muse, I don't hear you
Hope you don’t have the flu.
I'm not calling Euterpe, Thalia or Terpsichore,
No, Erato’s my lady, named for Eros, not war.
Love and love poems fall in your bailiwick
So fly to me, Precious. It’s urgent, be quick!
Of arms and the man I’m not singing tonight
Paradise is still Lost— it is nowhere in sight.
To Goethe and Dante, Mallarmé and Shakespeare
You whispered and murmured softly in the ear
So succor me now, lend me words I can pen
Please don’t forsake me, help me scribble again.
My love, how to praise him,
How to describe
The joys of our journey I want to transcribe.

Erato, your silence is hard to endure,
No lyrical stanza, no euphonious verse
You’re wayward and fickle
You’re being perverse.
Alas, you have failed me,
I don’t sense you near.
Too late for this Valentine,
Hope to see you next year.

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The Well-Dressed Horses of Palermo

Everyone loves horses and has at some time or other dreamed of sitting in a horse-drawn carriage. Tourists especially like to ride them. Palermo offers horse-drawn carriages wherever tourists hang out in Palermo. The horses look much fresher than the ones on Central Park South in New York City, who seem rather more tired and weary. The Palermo horses’s millinery shows an Italian sense of style.

They wear lace-trimmed straw hats:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and casual straws

 

 

slouch hats adorned with flowers
and a plain model for the guys

dress-up frilly ones

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and lest you think the men can’t be elegant too

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Election 2016: Cup count poll predictions

Hillary or Trump?

The Monogram Shop in East Hampton has its own poll to predict the winner. The shop makes cups for presidential elections, one boosting the Republican candidate and the other, the Democrat. Whichever candidate’s name sells the most cups will  take the White House.
Cup sales predictions

It’s worked before:Cup sales

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New York City panhandling party

There’s a lot more to say about the American Chemical Council’s loyalty to poison plastic, but it’s time to lighten up.

If you ride New York subways, even occasionally, you’ll appreciate this.

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Larry come Nightly

LarryWilmoreBy Diane Vacca, ComedyBeat | When he named The Nightly Show, Larry Wilmore made clear his strong connection to The Daily Show, where he was Jon Stewart’s “Senior Black Correspondent.” Nightly follows Daily in several ways. Most obvious is the literal: night follows day and the two shows are broadcast back to back. Wilmore reprises the role he played on Daily, where being black and how that colors living in American society was his beat. In Nightly, Wilmore widens his scope to encompass all the pressing issues of the day, but blackness is always present, whether in the spotlight, hovering in the background or embodied in the show’s name.

Read more . . .

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Found on Facebook

FireWarning

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February 10, 2015 · 12:24 AM

Holiday dinner parties

Dinner parties used to be much simpler:

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@Oatmeal educates Ted Cruz

Responding to President Obama’s intent to regulate the internet like a utility, Sen. Ted Cruz compared net neutrality to Obamacare. The Oatmeal deducted that Cruz has no idea what net neutrality is, and endeavored to teach him (and us). Reblogging from The Oatmeal:

OatmealNetNeutrality

OatmealNetNeutrality2
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Just for fun — good impressions

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Election in Puerto Rico

Follow Natasha Del Toro on her electoral tour of Mickeyrican Florida:

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Parable for Election Day

BallotBoxStampWhile walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator is tragically hit by a car and dies. When his soul arrives in heaven, he’s met by St. Peter at the gate.

Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. But before you settle in, I have orders from the higher ups. You have to spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

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I have a dumb phone!

Love my phone

Love my phone!

“My phone is older than my son.  And my son is nine years old!”

I was immersed in my book, but when I heard the ruckus, I lifted my head.

“How do you receive texts?” someone asked.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I have a dumb phone.”

Jennifer Perry had the whole crowd at the hairdresser enthralled. That was the most amazing part— the young women were crowding around Jennifer and jostling for position in order to get a better look at her antique device. Had these women never seen a mobile phone that wasn’t smart?

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Saturdays

Saturday

How do you spend your Saturdays?

saturday-night-fever-john-travolta

Saturday Night Fever made John Travolta.

PulpFictionDance2

On another Saturday seventeen years later, he reprised his dance moves with Uma Thurman.

SinatraDark

Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week …”  Sinatra used to sing, “It’s the night when my baby and I used to dance cheek to cheek …”

WeekendUpdateBigBird

Saturday Night Live would have yanked you out of that reverie.

SaturdayBookCover

You could have read Saturday.

ChicagoBand

Better still, you could have spent “Saturday in the Park.”

SameOldSaturdayNight

And if none of the above worked for you, then nothing for it but Same old Saturday Night:

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Guaranteed to make you smile!

The best, most unusual and entertaining safety video you’ve ever seen. Tell me if you don’t agree!

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Touch Wood

I’ve committed to posting daily through the month of November. There’s only an hour and a half left of today, so I suspended my research on privacy in the age of Big Brother to look for inspiration.

A former classmate unwittingly came to the rescue. Jina Moore found a marvelous Japanese ad for a smartphone that required building with great precision an extremely long xylophone that courses through the forest. A small wooden ball bounces along its length, producing Bach’s rendition of a traditional church hymn. The theme of the ad? “Touch Wood.”

The making of the xylophone is awe-inspiring for the obsessive attention to detail that makes the feat possible:

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Porn Sex vs Real Sex

While researching an article on pornography, I came across this instructive video. It aims to inject a dose of reality into the fantasies of habitual watchers of porn.

Hat Tip:  Andrew Sullivan

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The love that binds: Tumbleweed Tango

:

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Donut philosophy

The Mayflower doctrine— Cool Culinaria

The Mayflower doctrine

I was recently reminded of the tedium of shopping with my mother. I looked forward to the end of the day, when she would treat me to a Mayflower donut. I never tired of pondering the card propped on every table:

As you ramble on through life, brother,

Whatever be your goal,

Keep your eye upon the doughnut

And not upon the hole.

Simpler times. Yes, that’s the way we used to spell “donut”!

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Ignorance and Prejudice are alive and well

Ken Tanaka’s video is funny. But is it true? Unfortunately …

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WHAT? A snoop in the bathroom?

IMG_0486A guest in a traditional Southern home, now a comfortable inn, I was sitting and musing — not to put too fine a point on it — on the toilet. The bathroom wasn’t private, but only in the sense that it was in a public area and any guest could use it. At the time, though, it was mine, at least until I unlocked the door.

Without warning, a startling “click!” interrupted my reverie and disrupted my composure. Spooked, I looked toward the sound and spotted a sinister device that was almost hidden from view across from me in the narrow space between the sink and the wall. It appeared to have an eye or a lens, and in far less time than it takes to write this, I thought of the ineluctable surveillance cameras that dog us everywhere, recording every move, taking note of height, clothing, headgear, companions — everything. In fact, I had just taken part in a discussion about the complete loss of any remaining shred of privacy in the 21st century.    Continue reading

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Paper Hands

PaperHands

Lifting my head up from the desk for a little fresh air and a bit of entertainment, I found SCREENGRAB from Willie Witte. This picture within a picture is one more clever entry in what is becoming a paper-themed mini-series. Older ones are Quirky paper silhouettes (thousands of animated paper cutouts) and Paper will survive (you need to be a Vimeo member to view this one).

Hat Tip: Andrew Sullivan Mental Health Break

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Conan ribs Obama

ObamaOBrienA tradition in Washington for the past 99 years, the White House Correspondents’Dinner was an occasion for reporters to bring their sources and interact informally with each other and the president. Recently, celebrities from Hollywood and Washington join the crowd.
A well known comedian follows the president’s stand-up routine.

This year it was Conan O’Brien’s turn. Watch Conan cracking jokes after the break.   Continue reading

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Pres. Obama zings, jokes and takes on his critics

Pres. Obama at 2013 White House Correspondents' Dinner

Pres. Obama at 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Pres. Obama pulled no punches Saturday night at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Having been re-elected, the President’s confidence was obvious. Obama enjoys his one-liners — he’s not one to let a chance like this one to pass him by.  He let the zingers fly.

The audience howled, cracked up and smiled knowingly at the inside-the-Beltway jokes at the expense of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), birthers, all manner of critics and even some friends.

The President put on a good show. Watch the video after the break and enjoy.   Continue reading

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#BostonMarathon: Notable tweets and reax

Bomber brothers Jahar (left) and Tamerlan Tsarnaev (killed)

Bomber brothers Jahar (left) and Tamerlan Tsarnaev (killed)

I’ve been obsessively glued to the TV all day, watching the non-stop (and commercial-free!) coverage of the hunt for the second Boston Marathon bomber (left). So much work to do that’s not getting done …

In the meantime, here are some tweets that caught my attention.

This is from the Twitter account of Jahar Tsarnaev, who told the man whose car he hijacked that he is one of the Boston Marathon bombers. Formerly known as Suspect 2, the 19-year-old is the main object of a manhunt the likes of which no American has ever experienced except perhaps in the movies. Bostonians and residents of the surrounding suburbs have been confined inside their homes all day, all public transportation shut down, all schools and universities closed — everything completely paralyzed. One exception: Dunkin Donuts asked to be exempted. Those stores have remained open, serving  police and other emergency workers free food and coffee.

On Monday night, the day of the Marathon, Jahar tweeted    Continue reading

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Bluebird time

Ersel Hickey? Never heard of him? Neither had I until now.

Hat tip: Mike ONeil

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Veronica Osorio, crafty comedian

Veronica Osorio as Kate

Veronica Osorio as Kate

Like the U.S. Post Office of ancient memory, nothing keeps the irrepressible Veronica Osorio down, at least not for long. After a near-fatal motorcycle accident knocked her over but not out, the multi-talented comedian spent her time in recovery creatively. Despite having both hands immobilized in plaster, she began writing within days. In the following months, she created new characters and skits while struggling to walk again.

Not too long ago ago, I introduced the irrepressible Veronica to the readers of ComedyBeat.

Continue reading on ComedyBeat and watch her  “Kate’s Craft Corner” riffs on the do-it-yourselfers and Martha Stewarts of this world.

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Crazy carrot love

CarrotLove

Is this how carrots are made?

Good thoughts for the holidays, and it’s time, if you can, to start planning your garden.

 

Hat tip: Huffington Post

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Paper will survive

Paper'sNotDead

For all the techies who scoff at paper: Delightful ad from Le Tréfle.

Hat tip: Howie Ginsberg

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The History of the World in two minutes

You may have seen this, but even if you have, it’s worth watching again. There is so much crammed into two minutes that you can’t look away even for a nanosecond. The imminent future is included too. It’s a future that’s not too hard to predict.

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“We Saw Your Junk”

“To those who were offended by Seth MacFarlane” Kevin Gisi attempts to level the playing field with his parody of “We Saw Your Boobs.”

The old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is also true for comedy: One person’s “funny” is another’s “obscene” or “sadistic” or “racist” or — but you get the point.

Who among us can set a standard of acceptability for jokes? No one really, because in the case of humor, there isn’t and can’t be a normative standard that will be acceptable to everybody.

Over at Think ProgressAlyssa Rosenberg argues that when a comedian—unique among artists — is criticized, the very “act of criticism is taken as proof that the critic speaking lacks critical judgement.”

Continue reading at ComedyBeat …

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